beanies – The BooBee Journey

Another milestone – debuting the hair in public!

Another month has gone by and to be honest not much has changed. This healing business is slow and the knock on effects of chemo just keep on giving!

Mentally I’m up and down. There are many days where I feel like myself, only to have a little setback and my mind runs wild with dooms day scenarios. I agonise over why certain things are not improving and try linking it to what I am doing, eating, saying, thinking or feeling. It’s exhausting.

But…… there are positives and I am celebrating the small wins.

Today I went out for coffee with a group of beautiful breast cancer survivors. I felt safe and inspired, so I took my hat off….. in a cafe! I don’t want to hide it anymore, I want to own it……. greys and all.

Winning!

It’s a major step forward and will only be hindered by the horrible weather we are having!! It is too cold to sit beside a soccer pitch in the rain without a beanie, hair or no hair!!

Nearly 3 months since last round of chemo

About six weeks ago I started in the gym with a physiotherapist who specialises in breast cancer rehabilitation. The aim was to get some strength into those muscles of mine that have sat idle for months, but in a careful and safe way. I felt so weak.

For the first time this week, I noticed a real difference when I completed a set of exercises I couldn’t do a fortnight earlier. My strength is returning. I’ll be ready for the ski field by January yet!

Winning.

There are many health issues cropping up that are unexpected, annoying and embarrassing. The only thing I can do is concentrate on celebrating the small wins.

I’m not normal me (I honestly thought I would be by now). I don’t even know what normal means anymore but I am starting to come to terms with the fact I am forever changed.

Cancer free?

How can I feel cancer free when every time I look in the mirror, I see a cancer patient. Chemotherapy is cruel in so many ways but the way it lingers on is so bloody frustrating.

I realised this weekend I am already sick of my hats, and the scarfs are just too complicated some days. The reality is I could be like this for months yet.

Do I get a wig?

Do I order more hats?

Is there a magic hair growing serum?

I just want to be normal again. I know I have to be patient, but it is so hard and frustrating and paralysing and grrrrrr

Don’t worry I’m okay, I just needed a rant and….. I’ve ordered more hats.

Baldy goes on holiday

Like I’ve mentioned before, one of the first things that ran through my mind when I was diagnosed was what I might miss out on this year. I became determined to miss the least amount possible. Cancer would not stop The Travel Bee!

The annual Augusta trip was carefully considered and decided it would be doable with a few minor adjustments. We headed down on Good Friday and with the help of amazing friends, our camp was set up in no time. A lovely birthday dinner with friends at the Colourpatch made our day.

Inclement weather didn’t stop us with around 11mm falling on our first night. We were cosy in the camper trailer and only had minor leaks. Saturday it rained on and off but between showers we managed to get in; a trip to Margaret River for pre chemo blood tests, a walk to the marina, wine tasting and a 600m swim at Flinders Bay. Not bad.

I was a little bit worried about looking like a chemo patient in the camping ground, but one upside of cold, wet weather was half the camping ground were in beanies so I blended in nicely!

Sunday the sun came out to play and we enjoyed; a few quiet strolls, a visit from Mum, Dad, my sister and niece, Ice cream and a night out at the pub with friends. At the risk of standing out, I decided to jazz things up a bit for the dinners out, choosing more stylish headwear. I’ve even mastered how to do my wraps with no mirror!

Camp Bee this year expanded to two sites with Charlie and his mates parking up next door, with roof top tents and swags. It was so nice to see our tradition continued and shared with friends and girlfriends. I just love that he still wants to come and we plan to continue booking more sites as the family grows. In the 13 years we have been coming, we have evolved through bikes, scooters and skateboards to P plates in cars and utes. Love the changes, and gosh it’s so much easier now!

Today is pack up day and we are taking our time. The weather is glorious, we have squeezed in another walk and a 700m swim between packing. Lunch is done and we are nearly ready for the final pack up push and guess what……..

The pre chemo steroids have worked their magic, my muscles 💪 are flexing and I’ll have it done in a flash!!!

Round 3 chemo tomorrow, then I’ll be more than half way 💪 💪💪🎉🎉🎉