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Another month has gone by and I am gaining strength. I saw my breast surgeon this week and she is very happy with my progress (and her handy work). I don’t see her again for a year!

Life is settling down and I’m getting into my new normal. To be honest, it isn’t that different to before, I am just more conscious of when I am over doing things. I allow myself to rest more than I used to.

I am still struggling with getting into shape and I don’t yet recognise myself in the mirror. This is partly because of weight gain from treatment and partly because of my hair. I definitely have ‘chemo curls’, they are so tight and crazy. I look like a Cavoodle but I kind of like it.

In some ways this whole thing just feels like a bad dream. Like one of those times you ask yourself what just happened. It’s a bit of a blur.

Sometimes it takes a while to register all that you have been through. Perhaps that is where I am at now. I find myself randomly thinking about when I was in hospital or when I was told my diagnosis. I am still processing.

It’s got me wondering though…….. surely I could claim professional development points for this??!! 🤣

Ax

Two weeks and two days since my first treatment and the shedding has started. I feel like a cat. At this stage, the hair I’m losing from my head is reasonably minor so I’m still hopeful the cold cap works. Fingers crossed my hair only thins. My scalp is quite tender though ……. I’m not sure what that means but I have read it can feel like that before and during hair loss. Gulp.

There is also evidence in other areas of my body that hair has either stopped growing or is falling out. Even though I was told it can start as early as two weeks, it is still confronting when it happens.

Fortunately, I had some head wear arrive today, so I am prepared……. but I don’t want to (stamping my foot like a two year old). I don’t want to look like a cancer patient. I don’t want to wear a hat. I don’t want to feel different.

But, I will. I will get on with what needs to be done. I will do it with a smile and I will document it for you all.

And….. I will try really hard not to hide away. I am even planning my return to work. Plus, a silver lining…… less hair is good for swimming!

Ax